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With But most of all, I will not die, I am exploring the revelatory and communicative potential to be found in memory-based, poetic, and absurd phrases from my own journals. Selecting and organizing the most potent and appealing phrases, I have found a compelling trajectory in what at first seemed like nonsensical and disparate automatic writings. Anxiety about being touched, the failings of the physicality of the body, mortality, and the end of the world revealed themselves as major themes. My objective is to organize, open up, explore, and expose the content of these phrases in order to offer them up for connection, contemplation, and conversation. By making small works in response to each phrase, not only do I now have moveable and tangible byproducts of formerly elusive meaning, but I also allowed memories, logic, and anecdotes that lead to each of these phrases to resurface or appear. The opening up and re-materialization of rich and potent experience enriched my criticality in relation to the project and revealed my deep entrenchment and connection to haphazardly written phrases. The intention is that when viewed, these works become curiosities that evoke a lot of unanswerable questions, ask for sustained, close attention, and ultimately some discovery of commonality or revelation from within. Nonsense is not solely nonsense, and ambiguity is an entryway rather than an obstacle to understanding; poetry clarifies, distillation enriches meaning, and abstraction concretizes.
